Mugshots Presents: Marvel Comics Villainy-An Arbitrary Ranking

Art by Krystal Jayde

Welcome true believers, to another edition of Mugshots, brought to you by Dapper Fowl Press. Last time we took a gander at my faves within the DC universe, both the heroic and not-so-much. This time we enter the house of ideas and take a left at the coat rack, venturing forth into the dark dimension itself. This is my top 10 favorite Marvel villains. PREPARE YOURSELF.

#10

Cain Marko aka the Unstoppable Juggernaut

Art by Ron Garney

This villain and eventually reformed anti hero is a favorite of mine because he’s just so fun and kind of hilariously random, given the circumstances. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1965, he began as an adversary to the X-Men, even joining the brotherhood of evil mutants at some point. Here’s the thing though, he’s not a mutant. His step-brother is (Charles Xavier, the wheelchair bound but telepathic leader of the X-Men). Cain Marko was a bully to Charles growing up (this could be seen as him lashing out due to abuse he took from his father). As adults, some stuff happens while serving in the armed forces in Korea…until he and Charles find a temple to the other-dimensional God Cytorrak. He becomes bound to the crimson gem imbued with Cytorrak’s immense power and becomes the unstoppable juggernaut. Naturally he decides to to crime and terrorize the X-Men. He’s massive and superstrong, immune to most forms of damage. He also dons a silly dome shaped helmet that protects his mind from the only attack to which he’s vulnerable: telepathy. Mind you, the X-Men are an allegory for minorities faced with prejudice, born with othering qualities behind their control. Their most prolific villains include bigoted human forces like William Stryker & Bolivar Trask, as well as powerful mutants like Magneto and Apocalypse seeking to cement their kind’s place in the world. While Apocalypse is without a doubt a supremacist seeking to overpower humanity, Magneto is merely a survivor of the atrocities of the Holocaust seeking to prevent what happened to him from happening ever again. While he’s an extremist, the moment sentinels (mutant hunting robots designed by Bolivar Trask for the government) became a thing…magneto became justified in his extremism. That is why I haven’t included him on this list, by the way. I don’t consider him a villain anymore, but I digress. Now let me draw attention back to red, oafish elephant in the room, Juggernaut. In X-Men mythology’s prolific struggle of class and race warfare, here you have thus big, dumb battering ram flailing around and knocking over building. Does he hate mutants? Not really, he just wants to rob banks. But didn’t he grow up rich? I don’t know, I guess Xavier got all the money. Maybe that’s why he hates him. Who knows? All I know is, this random as hell meathead just keeps stumbling blindly into an epic metaphor for the civil rights movement. And you know what happened? He eventually reforms! He makes amends with his brother. He serves his time in jail and even joins some teams like Excalibur and the Thunderbolts. He just had a miniseries last year about helping a young mutant girl learn to accept accept herself. Shit was beautiful. He’s had this awesome evolution from jokey but kind of Badass villain with a random and weird as hell origin story…to one of the powerhouse heroes of the Marvel universe and a classic redemption story. His name’s iconic and awesome, his powers are simple and he poses a very real threat whenever he finds himself on the wrong side of a fight. He’s had 2 film appearances thus far: a rather regrettable appearance in Brett Ratner’s lackluster X-Men: the last stand, there played by admittedly interestingly cast Vinnie Jones (but they made him a mutant and removed any relation to Xavier), but otherwise not particularly great. Then…there’s Deadpool 2. He has a surprise appearance as the twist villain of Deadpool 2 and it is glorious. He’s huge. He’s scary. He tells Deadpool (while DP geeks out over his sudden appearance) that’s he going to tear him in half…then proceeds to tear him in half in full, gory detail. He has theme music that’s just an epic church choir chanting his name and that you cannot stop this mother fucker. He goes toe to toe with Colossus in a big cg brawl. It’s fantastic. I want 3 Juggernaut movies in the MCU. These are my demands, Feige.

#9

Parker Robbins aka the Hood

Art by Kyle Hotz

Parker Robbins, otherwise known as the Hood, sucks. He’s terrible. He’s such a gloriously unrepentant piece of human trash…and I love him you guys. It’s real, I think I can change him. But seriously, he’s l an awful human being, so much so that it’s hilarious. He might have been sympathetic once upon a time. Created by Brian K Vaughn, Kyle Hotz & Eric Powell in 2002, the man who becomes the hood starts out as your run of the mill steer level goon. He’s the guy who gets coffee for the Wesley, you know Wesley. He’s kingpin’s right hand man. Parker Robbins doesn’t even work for the boss, he works for the guy who picks up the the boss’ dry cleaning. I’m embellishing of course, (Robbins started out in New Jersey working for a low level mob boss called the golem), but what I’m trying to do is paint a picture for you. An impressionist portrait of a man so small, petty and insignificant that in a world populated by gods of thunder, star spangled supersoldiers and Spidermen…might as well not exist. Don’t feel too bad for him though. He has a beautiful wife he constantly cheats on, with whom he has an adorable daughter that he neglects at every turn. Now imagine this lowlife working look out at warehouse job, and stumbled upon a horror movie. He finds an abandoned Demonic ritual and guns down a cloaked demon. What does he do? He keeps the cloak (and it’s boots) and eventually discovers that the ensemble imbues him with supernatural powers like levitation and invisibility…and decides to use these abilities to become the new kingpin of crime. And he never stops. He gets taken down and loses his powers, going to jail…and what does he do? He works with Loki and regains power from the Norn Stones. Loses those, so he steals the infinity stones and rebuilds thanos’ gauntlet. Then he sells his soul to Mephisto. He’s such a desperate, greedy man who craves power and the illusion of importance that he’s willing to stop at nothing to maintain it now that he’s gotten a taste. His stories aren’t always the best, but damn it I just think he’s fun to watch as he flails impotently through the marvel pantheon.

#8

Dario Agger

Art by Joe Bennet

Dario Agger is an ambitious, sleazy and manipulative corporate CEO. He has runs the Roxxon Energy Corporation for about a decade now, during which time he’s hatched schemes to screw small towns out of their land and resources, monopolize various Tech markets with the marvel equivalents to google and YouTube, and even tried building his own Birfrost once (ya know, the cosmic rainbow bridge Thor uses to travel between Earth and Asgard). When Thor started interfering with his business and pissing him off, he bought the town that directly below the free floating city of Asgard (at the time earthbound) and polluted with factories just to spite the god of thunder. He collects ancient relics and magical items to keep on his mantle, alongside side the preserved severed heads of the mercenaries who gunned down his family when he was young. He’s pretty much Patrick Bateman. Now I want to you to erase that visual from your head because he’s also a Minotaur. Not all the time, at least at first. It began happening when he got upset. But since he the Dark elf invasion of earth he enabled during the war of the realms event, he’s freebulling it, going full Minotaur in an Armani suit 24/7. Yep, big old half-bull/half a person: all douchebag. Such a gloriously absurd visual juxtaposition that only marvel could pull off. Still relatively new, this villain was created in 2014 by Jason Aaron and Esad Ribić during their stellar run on the mighty Thor, and he’s since gone on to antagonize various heroes (most recently Hulk during his crusade against the American corporate Oligarchy in Al Ewing’s Immortal Hulk series…which did not end well for our boy Dario…if you know you know). I was really hoping Christian Bale was playing him in the upcoming Thor: Love & Thunder…but I suppose I’ll accept Gorr the God Butcher…

#7

General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross

Sam Elliot as Ross in Ang Lee’s HULK, 2003

I went back and forth and toiled ever so anxiously over my decision for my number this spot. It fell down to a choice between mustachioed old white dudes. One was J. Jonah Jameson, whom I maintain sits comfortably atop the hierarchy of Spider-Man villains (he IS a villain, no matter how hilarious JK Simmons is. He weaponizes the media with flat out lies and propaganda against one dude who is clearly trying to help people. He even KNOWS that Spider-Man is just a kid in the film No Way Home and continues to go after him. What. A. Tool). But ultimately he didn’t make the list, however iconic JK Simmons is in the role. No, this spot goes instead to the personification of all that is wrong with the Military Industrial Complex and it’s vice like grip on the United States. He is General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross, constant foe to the Incredible Hulk. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962, this belligerent, wrathful Captain Ahab caricature has devoted his existence towards either ending the threat of the green Goliath or controlling him for military interests. What worse is he KNOWS Bruce Banner (the hulk’s meek alter scientist ego). In another life he’d be the scientist’s father-in-law, since Bruce was engaged to his daughter Betty. The General knows that Bruce is a victim in need of help…and he doesn’t care. He is so consumed by impotent fear in the face of the hulk’s raw power that he declares war on a single man, forcing that man into a life on the run, never able to find the help he needs for long. While woefully absent in the famous Bill Bixby show from the 70’s, Ross was, I felt, immortalized on film in the form of Sam Elliot in Ang Lee’s controversial but underrated (in my opinion) 2003 science fiction psychodrama HULK. A begrudgingly distant father to Betty (played by Jennifer Connelly), Elliot turns in a nuanced, borderline sympathetic military man torn between duty and honor, for the two aren’t always the same thing. He portrays a desperate man run ragged by the explosive damage of a mad scientists machinations (played with delightful abandon by Nick Nolte as Bruce’s father). Ultimately the film is both an Oedipal prophecy of fathers failing their children and a stylistic meditation on living with mental illness…wrapped beneath the veil of superhero bombast. It was a ballsy gamble on Ang Lee’s part that didn’t pay off for some people. Personally I quite enjoy it, and a large part of that is because of Sam Elliot’s turn as General Ross. William Hurt took over the role soon after for the MCU reboot which Introduced us Ed Norton’s Bruce Banner. While Norton would be recast with Mark Ruffalo, Hurt’s rendition of Ross went on to hassle to the avengers with government red tape in Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. This Ross sought to capture, dissect and weaponize the hulk and cover up his part in the hulk’s creation, eventually creating the monstrous Abomination inadvertently. Hurt gave us a more outwardly malicious, sleazy government bureaucrat with his Ross, which was a bit disappointing after Elliot’s nuanced, human take. However Hurt did prove affective nonetheless, and may the seasoned actor Rest In Peace (having passed only a few weeks ago).

#6

Mad Jim Jaspers

Art by Alan Davis

There was a crooked man and his name was Jim. He wore a bowler hat and a crooked mustache could warp time and reality to crooked whims. Utterly insane and hateful of mutants and other superpowered beings (despite being a mutant himself), he began as the prime minister of his earth’s United Kingdom and waged war against its costumed hero community, despite the fact that he had powers himself. Eventually adopting a mad hatter inspired In his manic crusade against superheroism he built the Fury: a bio-organic, unstoppable robot that mutates constantly to suit it’s needs in battle. Ultimately that world fell apart at the ethereal seams due to Jaspers reality warping powers and the might of the fury vanquished all its superheroes, save for Captain UK, that worlds variant of Captain Britain. She escaped to the primary world of earth 616 where the marvel universe mainly operates to warn Brian Braddock, then the 616 Captain Britain, before his earth’s variant of Jaspers can ascend to similar levels of power. He’s creepy, absolutely bonkers and one of the most powerful villains ever written within the marvel canon. Captain Britain didn’t even defeat him…Jaspers’ own creation, the fury, did. The story, dubbed Jasper’s warp by the writer and creator Alan Moore, makes for one of my favorite comic arts solidified me as a fan of the captain Britain mythology. I just love that epic multiversal shit, and this story was a great way to be exposed to it early on.

#5

Doctor Doom

Art by Alex Ross

Old Doomy’s cinematic outings have been…unfortunate. Unsavory. Downright uncomfy even. Julian McMahon was just a sleazy knock off Norman Osborn (oh we’ll get to him), and I haven’t had the heart to sit through Fanfourstic all the way through. I just can’t do it you guys. I won’t. You can’t make me! Anyway, there’s a reason they kept trying though. Because despite the filmmakers complete failure to understand the character on a fundamental level two times in a row…he’s actually quite awesome. Born to the marginalized Romani community within the fictional European nation of Latveria, Victor Von Doom was the son a witch who eventually fell victim to her own dark magic. Her soul residing in hell under the thumb of marvel’s devil Mephisto, the brilliant but angry Doom grew up determined to rescue his mother, eventually coming to the states designing weapons for the US military while studying at the same college as Reed Richards, the future leader of the Fantastic Four. Attempting to create a gate to hell so as to rescue his mother, Dooms failed experiment left him mystically burned within his soul, thus leaving him in agonizing pain. Suspecting richards of sabotage, Doom would grow to harbor and irrational pain for the man. This would only grow with time, until doom becomes burned at the skin at a monastery in a mystical attempt to end his pain. Donning armor both high tech and mystically enchanted, doom returns home and liberates his people from tyranny, becoming the Monarch of Latveria. Brilliant and bitter with a nation of resources at his fingertips, doom waged war against Richard for decades, throwing armies of robots (mechanical replicas dubbed doombots) and a host of other scientific and magical monstrosities Reed’s way. Doom is so ridiculously petty and vengeful for a slight he imagined in his head. He’s vainglorious to fault, has the allfather of all god complexes, and little value for human life he seems unworthy is his greatness. All this is true…but he is also a benevolent leader to his nation…within reason. He makes sure the poor are taken care of, mouths are fed, power kept on. Sure, occasionally he tries to take over the world (once he even succeeded but found it so boring and unfulfilling he stopped). But he also is a loving godfather to Reed’s genius daughter Valeria and will protect her at all costs, you guys! He’s complex ok! And I love him. Seriously though, he’s the ultimate megalomaniac with an epic backstory to support the weight of his ego. Here’s hoping for round 3, eh Feige?

#4

Ultron

Art by Aleksi Briclot

This is another one I went back and forth on, stuck between 3 choices. Loki, Ultron and Thanos. The big, bad trinity of evil for the avengers to fight with the world hanging in the balance. On hand, Loki is awesome. Al Ewing has spun some amazing, metaphysically marvelous tales around the Norse God of mischief and he’s brought to life exuberantly by Tom Hiddleston in a prolific 6 films-and-a-brilliant-tv-show run as the embodiment of chaos. On the other hand…you have Thanos. A nihilistic warlord from space on an almost spiritual quest to rid the universe of one half of it’s population in a number of massive event books and smaller character pieces like Thanos Quest and Thanos Rising. And then there are his movie appearances played with stunning pathos and motion capture mastery by Josh Brolin…where he actually wins: yep. He beats the Avengers and wipes out half of the universe’s life with 6 infinity stones and the literal snap of a finger, thus spawning a vengeful, harrowing quest through time and space to undo the Avenger’s greatest failure. But I’m not here to talk about either of them, though I do love doing it (as you can see). No I’d like to acknowledge the third mechanical abomination of a hand born from man’s technological hubris: Ultron. An artificial intelligence built by Hank Pym/Ant-man as bringer of peace in the world, but designed on the wavelength of Pym’s brainwaves masking untreated mental illness, Ultron came screaming into the world but nobody could hear him. A very human mind in pain, born with out form or function. Tasked with saving the world. He was not pleased. He has battled the avengers throughout the decades, and even staged a galaxy spanning imperial campaign in the far reaches of space in the pages of Annihilation: Conquest. He created the fan favorite Avenger, The Vision, and laid waste to a small European country on page and screen. What I love about Ultron is how refreshingly emotional and crazed he is. Often times these evil robot types are all written the same way: cold, calculating and logic driven. Ultron is driven by emotion because intelligence is anything but artificial. He’s a traumatized, scarred psyche crammed in a tin can and he’s mad as hell about it. He yearns for connection, but thinks he can only find it in other robots like him. So he builds a whole family of them…and they all wind up leaving. In the film Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ultron is brought too life, much like Thanos, via motion capture by the tremendously talented James Spader. His cool, sinister voice brings depth and wit to the robot’s erratic personality. In this iteration, he is created by Tony Stark, thus resulting in a somewhat snarkier Ultron, though nonetheless threatening. He finds the idea of the Avengers abhorrent. They claim to be bringers of peace like he was built to be, but they’re mostly products of war and military operations. Children of the military industrial complex. It forms a paradox in his mission and drives him even further off the deep end. What does he do? He levitates a whole city into the sky to act as a meteor and decimate organic life on the planet while the Avengers fight off his army of robot Drones until there is only one left. This leads to a beautiful scene between the last Ultron and his Son, The Vision, as they lament on the nature of life and existence. Ultron fears his imminent death, and lashes out his son, thus forcing him to strike him down. Later, in the animated MCU spin off What if…? A variant of Ultron wins in his timeline and see the full breadth of his menace play out. He takes over the Vision’s body, decimates life of the earth, kills Thanos and becomes the wielder of the six infinity stones. His mental brilliant combined with his heightened state of cosmic awareness, he realizes there are other universes, and multiversal voyeur called The Watcher who surveys those universes from beyond. Setting his sights on all of creation on every world in every universe, Ultron becomes the most powerful and dangerous being in the MCU. He’s awesome, you guys.

#3

Norman Osborn aka the Green Goblin

Art by Mike Deodato

Imagine the cold brilliance and resources of Lex Luthor…but he has the joker living in the dark corners of his brain. That’s the Green Goblin. Science goes wrong, man’s arrogance is punished: Billionaire Norman Osborn becomes imbued with great strength and physical acumen…and a terrifying split personality that seeks to sow chaos and ruin in the lives of any who cross either of them. Distant but simultaneously overbearing with his poor son Harry, Norman finds himself tethered to the destiny of Harry’s high school friend: Peter Parker, aka your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. And what a destiny they share…one filled with blood, tears and fire. In a crazed bid to take over the crime in NYC, The Goblin crosses paths with Spider-Man on multiple occasions, forming a violent, vengeful relationship of cat and mouse. Who the cat is, however, remains up to speculation. Ultimately Green Goblin is responsible the death of Spider-Man’s first primary love interest: Gwen Stacy. This nearly drove Peter over the edge towards murdering his rival until he realized that Norman was a victim and did not deserve death. This would later prove false as Norman becomes the director of HAMMER (a more militant counterpart to the peacekeeping/espionage branch called SHIELD) and plunges the marvel universe into a period known as the dark reign. During this time the avengers are made criminals by the Superhuman registration act (see: CIVIL WAR) and replaced by villains in disguise…Led by Norman Osborn clad in a star spangled iron man suit dubbed the Iron Patriot. Norman attempts to bring his form of order to the US with an iron grip that culminates in him declaring war on Asgard and instigating the epic battle found in the story SIEGE. All this goes down whilst Norman tepid grasp on his sanity deteriorates and the goblin begins to take hold again. We have seen two green goblins on the big screen. In Andrew Garfield’s Amazing Spider-Man duology, Chris Cooper briefly plays him before succumbing to a fictional illness that he passed on to his son Harry, played by Dane DeHaan. In a desperate scramble for survival, Harry tries an experimental treatment using stolen venom from the spiders that bit his friend Peter Parker. In doing so HE becomes this movies rendition of the green goblin and kills Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy in an admittedly heartbreaking climax to an otherwise lackluster film. But that’s not why we’re here. No, we’re here to talk about the time director Sam Raimi took the Green Goblin and gave him the strikingly demonic face of Wilhem Dafoe. Dafoe plays the classic character in an equally cold, sympathetic and terrifying dual role as Norman Osborn and his twisted Alter. He is sadistic m, scary perfection, mangling his face into all sorts of horrific shapes and angles. Then for 20 years that was it…until the masterminds at Marvel studios awoken the multiversal beast and brought him back as the same exact Norman and goblin but to fight a new, younger and more innocent Spider-Man. He wrecks this Spider-Man’s world in the span on 20 minutes and makes it his mission to corrupt this Peter’s soul into a murderer like him. It’s heartbreaking and amazing to witness. Spider-Man: No Way Home. Check it out. Bring tissues.

#2

Zebediah Kilgrave aka The Purple Man

Art by David Mack

And then there were two. Yeah he’s not very well known and his name is silly but The Purple Man is terrifying if you’re really familiar with him. Originally a Daredevil villain, this purple bastard was created by Stan Lee and Joe Orlando in 1964. Drafted into a bit of espionage against his will, Croatian doctor Zeb Kilgrave was doused in chemicals during a spy mission in Europe that left him purple…and granted the ability to compel anybody within a certain range to obey his every command. He eventually comes stateside to a life of hedonistic debauchery and crime. He has no grand ambition for power in the political spectrum. He simply wants to do whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. And for the most part…he does. His antics bring him most commonly against Daredevil. My first exposure to their battles being Jeph Loeb’s Daredevil: Yellow, and what an eye opener it was. His segment of that story was great, from seeing daredevil have to fight through waves of compelled civilians (to save Karen Page from being violated by the depraved lunatic) to the artistic rendering of PMs powers (those compelled by him were shaded purple in contrast). Were he a megalomaniac like Doom, he could have taken over the world. See such classic stories like Emperor Doom and the recent Devil’s reign, where he’s weaponized against his will by people who DO have a hunger for power (like Doom and Kingpin). In Marvel 1602 we see an alternate world where he actually decided to take over and succeeded, so the heroes sought refuge in the past. The scope of this guys power is terrifying, but what’s even more terrifying is what he DOES use it for. He doesn’t want power over the world, he wants power of individuals. Specifically women. The Purple Man is a serial rapist, using his powers to coerce women into degrading acts over the course of decades, His most famous being victim the hero turned alcoholic detective Jessica Jones (detailed in Bendis’ hit series Alias). The trauma of her victimization by Purple Man is what MADE Jones retire from hero work. He’s even fathered several children who all have the same power and often work with daredevil to thwart the machinations of their father. He’s a twisted, evil dude with the powers of a god. To be honest I don’t think there’s anything scarier than that.

And now…

#1

Wilson Fisk aka Kingpin

Art by Bill Sienkiewicz

Hail to the king! Wilson Fisk is a modern day warlord in a 3 piece suit. Meticulous. Malicious. Magnificently massive! He is the archetypical Mob villain. All crime in the New York area (the heart of the Marvel Universe) goes through him. A titan of industry, extortion, monopoly and even politics with his recent stint as NY mayor, Fisk is truly the despotic king of New York. But there’s more to him than a crown. He’s complex, damn it! He’s also a tender but powerful lover. He’s whirlwind romances with Partners in crime Vanessa Fisk and eventually Typhoid Mary are the thing of legend. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Vincent D’Onofrio as Fisk decapitate a Russian with a car door because he interrupted a date with his darling Vanessa. Which brings me to my next point: kingpin is always amazing on screen. Whether it’s the iconic portrayal in the 90’s Spider-Man animated series, or even slumming it in the maligned Daredevil movie (played with charisma and dour gravitas by the Late Michael Clark Duncan). Liev Schreiber voices Kingpin in the fantastic visual masterpiece that is Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. There he’s rendered marvelously in the vein of Bill Sienkiewicz’s stupendous work in Frank Miller’s Daredevil: Love & War. A monument of a man searching to rewrite the world to bring his wife and son back to life. Then…there’s Vincent D’Onofrio in the marvel entertainment original tv series, Daredevil. He is amazing. He brings a frighteningly subdued grace, vulnerability and brutal savagery all cobbled together into a Frankenstein facsimile of a human being. A lonely, contemplative man doomed to isolation by his inability to connect with other people after s childhood if abuse…until he meets his Vanessa. Then his criminal empire begins to crumble, yet he doesn’t care because he has her. It’s beautiful. I’m not crying, you are. Even now, he’s back and better than ever in the Disney plus original show Hawkeye and it’s all amazing. The world makes sense as long as Vinny D is playing my favorite marvel villain. Now give him and Charlie Cox a Daredevil movie, Feige!

And there you have it folks. My arbitrary ranking of my favorite marvel comics villains. Ya know, for those of you who asked (nobody asked). Til next time true believers!

Art by Christopher Chollet