Cinemazoa-The Ballad of Bully Maguire

work by Christopher Chollet

Comics, cartoons, movies and memes. Spider-man is everywhere. The friendly neighborhood wallcrawler slings web any size and catches thieves just like flies. Or so the song goes. Decades of the mythological struggle of one kid bitten by a mutant spider and growing up into the underdog Everyman savior of NYC. If Marvel has a true counterpart to the pure iconography and symbol of hope and idealistic heroism that is Superman, spider-man is that hero. Without agenda or cynicism, anonymous and often downtrodden by the scrutiny of law enforcement and the media, spider-man embodies notion that with great power comes great responsibility. He doesn’t do it for fame or even something as toxic guilt or revenge…he does it because it’s within his power to do so, and because it is right. Superman hides in plain sight, a S on his chest and bulletproof. Spider-man gets bloodied and beaten, wearing a mask not only to protect his loved ones, but to show that at the end of the day he could be anyone. He could be you. In a week, that mask gets pulled back however. The latest iteration of the Webhead, brought to life this time by Tom Holland in the epic, intricate marvel cinematic universe, is outed to world and must put the rabbit back in the hat if he is to regain some semblance of stability in his life. He finds a solution with master of the mystic arts Doctor Strange and unleashes the chaotic madness of the multiverse, and with it the baddies of Spider-men’s past, across multiple continuities and iterations. And with them, perhaps, the spider-men we grew up with? Who’s to say until the projector rolls. Today, I take a look at that past as we come upon the future.

It starts, contrary to what people might remember, in 1977. Nicholas Hammond donned the Webbed pajamas in the CBS produced made for television film The Amazing Spider-man, following a rather reverent origin story where Peter Parker becomes spider-man and must stop a cult leader and his dastardly plot: a hypnotically suggested crime spree. Funky guitar riffs and slowly 70’s hair abound as the familiar trappings of the spider-man Mythos come into view in the scope of made-for-tv. It’s not spectacular but it’s an interesting watch with a fun premise. Hammond sells the normal, broke college student angle looking to fund his education through photographic journalism. For a large chunk of the film the real villain seems to be his dick boss, J. Jonah Jameson (some things never change). Like I said, not remarkable or anything but a decent start to the cinematic legacy, even if people don’t always remember it exists. No, what people remember is what came roughly 20 years later.

2002.

After tumultuous decades of legal battles and creative hand-wringing, and even a failed attempt to bring the character to life by Pre-Titanic James Cameron, the rights came to Sony pictures, and renown horror auteur Sam Raimi came aboard to spin his take on the character and finally bring Spider-man to theaters. The movie was huge, and spawned 2 sequels with the same cast. At that cast’s center was Tobey Maguire, who brought the wide eyed innocence and nerdy outcast energy of the 60’s original comics by Stan Lee. This coincided with a campy, energized style brought to the film by its director. Though make no mistake, you can see the horror dna of his filmmaking past in the classic, iconic villains in the form of Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin & Alfred Molina as Doctor Octopus (both of whom are reprising their roles in the new MCU film). Even the maligned third film had a good villain in Sandman, played by Thomas Haden Church (unfortunately paired with an abysmal take on venom played by Topher Grace). I don’t adore these films personally, one is fine. The second is pretty great, and the third is a train wreck, but even I can admit these villains were awesome and eagerly await seeing them again. JK Simmons also shines as the editor of Daily Bugle, J Jonah Jameson, who is so iconic the 2912 reboot didn’t even attempt to replace him and the MCU reboot just went ahead and brought him back. That said, while Maguire doesn’t really embody the Peter Parker I’d like to see in a film (I find him to hokey and hampered by tired old nerd cliches), he certainly scratches that spidey itch for the people who grew up loving those films. So much so so that he remains certain peoples definitive spider-man and lives on in an admittedly funny meme called Bully Maguire (riffing off his tongue cheek turn as evil symbiotic spider-man in Spider-man 3), who isn’t really evil so much as just goofy, arrogant and cocky to a fault.

Property of Sony pictures, Marvel Comics

While financially lucrative and critically lauded for its first two installments, the Raimi train eventually came to a halt when he exited the proposed fourth film, which was eventually scrapped for the 2012 reboot: The Amazing Spider-man. Indy comedy director Marc Webb brings those very sensibilities along with Andrew Garfield (fresh off the hype of David Fincher’s The Social Network) reinventing the character of Peter Parker from wholesome nerd cliche into quiet loner who longed for answers regarding the disappearance of his parents (and story element the Raimi films never even acknowledged). He rode skateboard, played around with his camera as a hobby and tinkered with machines in his room, showcasing his genius in a way the Raimi films never really attempted. Personally, I prefer this take. Spanning two films, this Peter felt more human and genuine to what really world “nerds” are like. He can awkward and he deals with bullies like Flash Thompson, but he isn’t completely socially inept to the point that it’s a joke. Aunt May and uncle is played Sally Fields this time and also feels much more human and less like the monologuing doting grandparent figures of Rosemary Harris and Cliff Robertson. Flash Thomson himself even gets a genuine moment of humanity where he reaches out to Peter after the death of his uncle and offers condolences instead of just being a stock jock character out of an 80’s after school special. But where this iteration on the character really shines is in its leads. Garfield, while “cooler” than what people expected out of Peter Parker after 5 years of Maguire, he absolutely nails the snark and uninhibited freedom Spider-man provides Peter Parker in comparison the stoic and contemplative Maguire. Garfield jokes and messes with criminals at every turn and it’s absolutely perfect whenever he’s in costume. Then there’s Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy who is hands down an improvement over the ever screaming damsel in distress that was Kirsten Dunst’s MJ. Gwen is funny, brilliant and in full control of her agency as a strong young woman character, right down to her tragic end. In place of Jameson, here we have Gwen’s police captain father played brilliantly by Dennis Leary sowing anti spider-person sentiment in the media. Where these films fail, and even I can admit this, is it’s villains. Rhys Iffans is perfectly serviceable as The Lizard, but a little derivative of the Green Goblin and Doc Ock with the voices-in-head routine and hams it up Saturday morning cartoon style with his plot to turn the city into a colony of lizard people. In the second one, Jamie Foxx goes full Jim Carey Riddler as the pathetic cartoon nerd Turned electric eel man who dubs himself Electro (complete with dubstep theme music, again with hateful chanting voices in his head). It was especially disappointing to see them take this route with electro after avoiding those pitfalls with Peter himself. Then there was Dane Dehaan as the new Green Goblin, this time the son of the of the original, and childhood best friend Harry Osborn previously played by James Franco. He actually starts damn good with a great back and forth rapport with Garfield that really makes you feel for his character, as well a decent hereditary disease subplot that really sells his characters desperation in search for a cure…then he finds it and becomes the goblin and the design is awful, accented by his weird fake fangs that make him sound like he’s talking through Halloween vampire teeth.finally, there are these bookend cameo appearances in the second one by Paul Giamatti as this over the top Russian Gangster who steals a super tank and becomes the Rhino…and I low Key love this character. He’s so silly and ridiculous but a unique concept for a spidey villain at the time, as he really didn’t run into organized crime much in the Raimi films. I also just love Paul Giamatti and the overall design of the character and wish he had been utilized more.

Property of Sony pictures, Marvel Comics

Ultimately, the poorly rendered villains and an overstuffed muddled, second film torpedoed this otherwise refreshing take on the character. Then, of course, Seth Rogen almost started WWIII and inadvertently ushered Spider-man into Marvel Studio loving embrace. In a bizarre scenario I affectionately refer to the as the Sony Wars of 2014, Seth Rogen was about to release his comedy the film, The Interview. It was about two bumbling Hollywood types scoring an interview with the real world dictator of North Korea and getting drafted into a CIA assassination attempt. Fun stuff. Well Kim Jong-Un didn’t think so and came about an inch close to declaring war on the United States over it. Then, “somebody” hacked Sony Pictures servers and leaked a series of emails and production material showcasing the sheer ineptitude of the executives at the wheel. Beyond-stupid things like a men in black crossover with 21 jump street and full blown spider-man cinematic universe made up of villain spin-offs (which is sort of still happening to this day). The colossal embarrassment on display prompted the Japanese head division to step in and scold its American annex like a misbehaving child…which led to them reaching out to Kevin Feige of the Marvel Cinematic Universe heralded by Disney. Finally, spider-man was home. For years he’d been flying solo in his own separate corner of the world, but now he could interact with his marvel colleagues like the avengers, just like in the comics. We even got a new spider-man. Replacing Andrew Garfield (much to my dismay at first) was Hollywood newcomer Tom Holland. A young, energetic actor with the wit and sincerity needed for a character like Spider-man. And he mostly succeeds. We’ve had Holland in the role for 5 films now (going on 6) and he and marvel have really done a good job of making the role their own. He debuted in Captain America Civil War before scoring 2 solo features (Spider-man: Homecoming and Spider-man: Far From Home) graduating to the big leagues with appearances in Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. Here we have a young, believably high school aged Peter Parker coming up into his own superhero in a world already populated by heroes like the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy. This truly makes for a coming of age tale, cemented by a very John Hughes 80’s vibe brought in by director John Watts (who has roots in both horror with the film Clown and independent dramas like the fantastic Kevin Bacon thriller Cop Car). What makes this take unique is an emphasis on Spider-man fostering relationships with the larger superhero community, especially the flagship hero: Robert Downey Jr.s Tony Stark/ Iron Man. Stark acts Young Peter’s Mentor as he seeks to come into his own as superhero, ultimately settling into his identity as a street level hero for the people before having to take over the late Stark’s global role in Far From Home. Additionally, Holland’s villains are fantastic. Michael Keaton is spectacularly menacing and personable as Everyman arms dealer The Vulture, while Jake Gyllenhal double times as charismatic and effortlessly sleezy as the ConMan faux superhero Mysterio. While Holland seems to have it all, part of me still yearns for the trollish wit of Andrew Garfield, as Holland is VERY young and innocent, almost to a “golly gee whiz” extent, and his supporting cast is very…light and fluffy…in terms of character depth.

Property of Sony pictures, Marvel Comics and the Disney Corporation

Additionally, during Marvel’s reinvention and integration of the character into their grand experiment, Sony has continued to capitalize on his mythological wealth. An animated film series was initiated with spectacularly rendered and visually stunning Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse, which follows Miles Morales, the Successor to an adult Peter Parker under the mantle of Spider-man (which is getting its much anticipated sequel next year). The classic 90’s spidey villain-turned-anti-hero Venom has even scored his own series of films autonomous (though not for long, it seems) of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That one’s a mixed bag. Tom Hardy is alright as Eddie Brock/ Venom and Woody Harrelson was an amazing Carnage in the sequel, but the films are way silly as opposed to the scarier aesthetic the character is known for. Also on the docket apparently is Morbius (which looks fun enough, even with Jared Leto reappearing in a comic film after his unfortunate turn as Joker), and a kraven the Hunter film starring Aaron Taylor Johnson and directed by the guy behind Chris Hemsworth’s action vehicle Extraction. I’d rather just have kraven in a spider-film…but that’s certainly a direction to take I guess.

work by Christopher Chollet

And now it’s 2021. The holidays are upon us and they bring with them a new Spider-man installment, capping off Tom Holland’s solo trilogy, and possibly providing a culmination of the entire franchise. Will it live up to the hype? Will Tobey and Andrew show up? Venom perhaps? A wild daredevil appearance? We can only hope and speculate, but the time is nearly here where all our questions will be answered. See you in a week and remember: With great power comes great responsibility.

Spider-man, Venom, Kraven the Hunter and Morbius are Marvel Comics creations licensed by Sony Pictures and the Disney Corporation. I claim no ownership of the images associated therein. the original artwork comes courtesy of my personal Friend Christopher Chollet, whose work can be marveled upon at his Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrischodraws/